Do people change? : A Discussion

I’ve battled with the question do people change for a few years now and of course for various people. Of course I don’t know the real answer but I’d like to know my answer so for this weeks post I’m going to discuss whether or not I think people change to reach my own judgement, so really this could go either way.

I’d like to think people change, I think we all would but does that mean we see who they really are, if we don’t see people with an infatuative halo, does seeing ones ‘raw’ self (via the assumption of change) mean people don’t even change at all. What I do know is that people grow.

What surprises me is it is only when one is bitter about something that people give the general people don’t change huff. I know I’ve done this, probably on many occasion. But I also know that I’ve wanted so badly for people to change, so that they fit my idea of what I want and that’s not fair, of course it’s not as bad as you’re thinking, I would never want people to just conform to my way of thinking, there would be no diversity. Yet I’ve wished for individuals to be a little more thoughtful or a little more like the way I’d see my perfect person and that’s not how the world works and even though I know that in theory I’ve not yet experienced that learning curve in a more practical sense and until I do I’m going to hold some kind of naivety and that’s okay, I’m just not there yet. I have also given advice with the allusion that people change, believing it at the time but when thought back on retrospectively is that my idea in the moment or is that my idea of people change on the whole. I’ve also seen people change, although saying that makes me think further, have I really seen people change or have I just seen them grow into the person they were to become, have I just seen another side to them I didn’t know existed? Whatever it is I’m starting to think change doesn’t occur and it’s growth that counts.

But what about when people say “you’ve changed”? Have I really changed, have I grown or have I stopped conforming to their idea of what they want? Or are they seeing a new side of me?

To summarise, at the stage I am in my life, I don’t think people change, I think they grow and that’s not a bad thing all the time but sometimes it can be, but does that matter? How can you have kindness without unkindness and so on, we need the diversity and although it’s completely wrong and there needs to be some kind of change sometimes but we need both sets of ideas. Instead of going off on a tangent, I’m going to leave it here but I think I needed this outlet of thought, I appreciate your listening/reading.

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